I am Michelle… I got my miracle after all
Meet Michelle, mum to Frankie, a resilient woman who has survived and defied cancer, suffered loss, overcome old narratives prescribed by her oncologists and lived to tell the tale of her journey becoming a mum of one, and soon to be mum of two.
Q: Can you share a little about your story prior to becoming a mum?
“When I was 19, I was diagnosed with incurable leukaemia. I had always wanted to be a mum, it was deep within my cells, but at that stage, at 19, it became about survival, so motherhood wasn’t on my mind.”
“Then at 22 I had the pleasure of meeting my husband of ten years, and four years into our relationship, we were told motherhood wasn’t going to be possible for me, it was gut wrenching.
“But the thing about my diagnosis is that I was gifted perspective, gratitude and a lease on life. So I let that grief and motherhood narrative dissolve and then, as it happens, the universe turned out to have really interesting plans for me.
‘I was in a car accident, everything was fine, but I found out I was pregnant. I then miscarried five days later. So everything I thought I had wanted I lost, I was distraught but I had the ammunition to go to my oncology team and say, ‘You said this couldn’t happen, but it can, so I am going to try.’’
Q: When you fell pregnant with Frankie how did you feel?
“I felt a lot of fear. I don’t think people talk about losing a baby enough. One one hand I was so grateful for the miracle of life, but on the other hand I was so fearful of that miracle of life not coming to fruition or coming to full term. Even when I was holding him a part of me didn’t even register it was real, but now holding him and pregnant in my second I know and have faith, and trust, the universe has your back, even when you don’t think it has your back… because without my first miscarriage I wouldn’t have Frankie… I can’t even fathom that.”
Q: How has becoming a mum shaped you?
“Becoming a mum and holding Franklin in my arms ignited that soul level love, unconditional love and a companionship and friendship I hadn’t felt between my mother and I.”
“I was on maternity leave with every intention to go back to my corporate role but I knew I wanted to be there for him so I retrained as a life coach, started my own business and resigned from the corporate world so I could be at home with my son.”
“Since his birth I have been at home five days a week with him and he will be four this year. So since my motherhood journey I have taken inspiration to be really present and conscious because the thing I know is we don’t get that time back.”
Q: What do you love most about being a mum?
“I love the play, the invite to be present, I love the invite into the chaos, I love the unknown. Coming from a really corporate background and coming from a background of teaching where everything is planned, my word of motherhood is surrender and that’s been the biggest gift for myself, my family and relationship with my child.”
“Motherhood is the craziest rollercoaster you will ever dive into. Some days it’s smooth and blissful - even if it's five minutes - other days it can feel like a rollercoaster going around and around, and you want to jump off or press pause but you can’t. But when Frankie looks at me and tells me he loves me or gives me a hug for no reason, that’s the ‘why.’ There are lots of highs and lows but the unconditional love is the glue.”